So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize