a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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