i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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