I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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