I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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