Don't you send me to vm
Jerry, you need to find god
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
