ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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