TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
