does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
