I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
