Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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