Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
