just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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