I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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