honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize