My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
