C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
