So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
