Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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