idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
