is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Let's paint friendship bongs
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Randomize
