wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize