i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
