Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
