they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
