To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
