Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
