Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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