oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
