If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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