Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
