The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Sorry about my life...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
