In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
where am i from again
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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