I heard we made out
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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