You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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