He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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