I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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