1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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