So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
