never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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