playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
