So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
where are my eyebrows?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
