He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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