is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
