i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
