All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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