I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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