how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm like, not good at living.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize