It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
