you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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