Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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