i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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