Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
