I'm gonna have a badass scar
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
