bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
