Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
