Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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