You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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