Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
