I could have mohawked her pubes.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
