glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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