Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that