Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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