chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.