used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.