can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
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i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
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I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer