I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
